No one knows;;Matt

[sawyer anne macdonell]

people change and promises are broken
clouds can move and skies will be wide open

[/size][/center][/color][/i]

Writing a song was a delicate procedure, no it wasn’t like heart surgery or something crazy like that but it wasn’t something that should be taken lightly; or at least that was Sawyers philosophy. Now most would scoff at her –like her father- if she said that, but she really truly believed that a song should be from the heart and nothing else, and if you can’t write something from the heart then you got nothing to write about. But everyone always had something in their heart; it was just a matter of finding the right words to express the feelings. That was no easy task, as most figure out it’s hard to put into just the right words what you’re feeling without basically just outright saying it. Sure there were some people who could make up a song about…cheese but really inadament objects were easy things to describe, emotions are not. Especially if you’re writing to relate to a large number of people, sure if you’re poems or songs are just for you alone then yes simply stating your feelings is good therapy. However when you need some therapy and it must be relatable, well then that just produces a whole new list of problems.

Sawyer was one of the few people in the world with the gift to word her emotions or experiences in a certain manner that aloud her to put down on paper and when fate permitted it, to be performed. Now of course when she first discovered her talent she was of course not very good and very modest about her poems. However as time progressed she got older, her vocabulary improved as did her writing style and so did the emotions to which she wrote about. Her modesty didn’t go away though, if anything she became even more modest if that was possible. As now she was performing regularly in front of very subjective audiences and usually she got good reviews and people telling her how good she was, but if she was so good then why hadn’t she been signed yet? It was the thing that was her biggest fear and concern, was that at the end of the period her parents gave her that she won’t have been signed and that she’ll have to go to college and become something boring like her father wanted her to be.

Now it’s not as if being a librarian was anything exciting but she loved to read, plus a library was always quiet which was good for her to gather her thoughts and perhaps jot down a few lines to a song so really it wasn’t bad for her. The jobs Sawyers thinking of are where you have to sit behind a desk all day filing paperwork and being told what to do and when to do it and having the same routine day in and day out. Once again a librarian had quite a few of those qualities but it was still different, sure she had a schedule but it was very flexible as the other librarians were either old retired ladies with nothing better to do, or stay at home moms who had gotten bored during the day or their kids were finally old enough that they didn’t have to walk them to the bus or meet them at home. Plus her boss was an older lady and gave every librarian pretty much free reign when they were working, just as long as they did something during the day.

While books were one of her loves it wasn’t her first and would never come close, that would always belong to music. It was what kept her alive and sane, it was her essence, and everything that Sawyer was, was because of music and its effect on her. Which was why she was lucky to have met Justin while in Miami, he was one of the few that shared her passion and while yes he was of the ‘famous’ group much like her best friend and he could be arrogant at times it was still awesome that he cared for his music as much as she did. Plus his being famous gave him studio time whenever he wanted which translated into letting her use it the odd time to record one of her newer better songs to send out to labels. Now you may be asking why doesn’t Justin just pull a few strings and get her a meeting with the boys upstairs? While she would appreciate that greatly it’s just not how she wants to make her mark, she wants to do it herself by her own two hands she wants to be somebody. Now two years down the road when her deadline is almost up and she still isn’t signed would the circumstances change? That is a perhaps but that’s a long ways away, she’s living in the now and the now is that she’s currently at the studio getting ready to record a song.

Yup today had been one of those lucky days when Justin had been able to score her some studio time, it was late mind you and he hadn’t been able to stay to help her but still it was a chance to record; plus she’d done this now and observed it a few times so she knew how to work the board pretty much. Plus Justin had been kind enough to leave instructions. So coming in that night the place had been as expected pretty much empty except for a few stray people here and there working on last minute things, but Sawyer headed straight for the studio. Turning on the equipment she made sure everything was in place before grabbing the remote and heading into the booth. It wasn’t a very big room as this particular ones regular use was that for only singers and not entire bands, it simply had a stool, a microphone, headphones and stand where you could put sheets.

Sitting on the stool she made herself comfortable before slipping on the headphones over her curly hair and then pointing the remote she hit the button so that the music would start and everything would start recording. That was the beauty of this particular studio; they had all the high tech stuff. As the familiar bars of the music started she took a breath and her voice rang out through the speakers.

You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors
It's the morning of your very first day
And you say hi to your friends you ain't seen in a while
Try and stay out of everybody's way

It's your freshman year and you're gonna be here
For the next four years in this town
Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say
"You know, I haven't seen you around before"

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen feeling like there's nothing to figure out
Well, count to ten, take it in
This is life before you know who you're gonna be
Fifteen

You sit in class next to a redhead named Abigail
And soon enough you're best friends
Laughing at the other girls who think they're so cool
We'll be outta here as soon as we can

And then you're on your very first date and he's got a car
And you're feeling like flying
And you're momma's waiting up and you're thinking he's the one
And you're dancing 'round your room when the night ends
When the night ends

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
When you're fifteen and your first kiss
Makes your head spin 'round
But in your life you'll do things greater than
Dating the boy on the football team
But I didn't know it at fifteen

When all you wanted was to be wanted
Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now

Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine
And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy
Who changed his mind and we both cried

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall
I've found time can heal most anything
And you just might find who you're supposed to be
I didn't know who I was supposed to be at fifteen

Your very first day
Take a deep breath girl
Take a deep breath as you walk through the doors

TAGGED ! [/color]matt!!.
LYRICS ! fifteen - taylor swift
WORDS ! 1,069 without lyrics
OUTFIT ! Click!
CREDIT ! MEELA! on CAUTION 2.0![/font][/size]

[matthew jackson parker]

matthew jackson parker rolled his eyes. ”yeah mum, yeah…yes i will tell him…..wait. what? no! mum it was nothing like….he didn’t. i’m going to kill him!....what? oh i mean i’m going to give him a big hug from you mum. bye now, love you.”

[/b] matt closed his phone, yeah a big hug that’s going to kill him! he thought to himself. yet again, his brothers were trying to get their mum off their back by saying matt was going out with a girl. their mother had been an incurable matchmaker ever since their cousin had gotten married last month. he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. he’d still kill his brother though. from what he’d mother said, it had been Justin, his youngest brother who’d been the one to tell their mum about his latest ‘girlfriend’. to say that matt had girlfriends was a bit of an over exaggeration. in fact, he couldn’t remember the name of the last girlfriend he had. not that matt was ashamed of this, he’d learnt early on that settling down with a girlfriend was not for him.

he knew that soon enough he’d feel the need to move on and he’d hurt the girl in the process. that was why he’d turned to one night stands and brief affairs. matt slipped his iphone into the inner pocket of his grey jacket and pushed the arms of it up until they were around his elbows. it wasn’t a very cold day, but the wind outside was a little brisk. it was an unusual day to say the least and matt was feeling kind of out of it. first off, that morning his partner for dancing had been feeling sick so he hadn’t been able to dance. without his usual dance practice, matt had been feeling all day like he needed to some exercise. of course he’d practiced on his own but it wasn’t the same as dancing with someone else. he sighed and rubbed a hand down the thigh of his dark jeans. after that he’d been chased after by a bunch of crazy fans who knew him as justin parker’s brother. and now? well now he was looking for the same guy to yell at him about telling their mum about some girl being his girlfriend. being the second oldest, he should be doing it to justin, not justin doing it the other way around.

mentally he shook his head as he passed through the doors that led into the studio lobby. it was about seven thirty on a friday night, usually matt would have been out somewhere, having a great time with some girl but that night he’d felt oddly tired of it all. that was the weird thing about today, for some reason he was getting sick and tired of the girls who instantly fell all over him and acted all sexy. he mussed up his neck length brown hair. maybe it was because they were too easy, or maybe just because he wanted more. matt halted midstride. no, that wasn’t it. it couldn’t be it. could it? no, definitely not, he thought firmly. if i wanted that i wouldn’t be me, i’d be some…alien. anyway, he thought, i’d just end up hurting her. after thinking this matt shook off all thoughts about his love life and continued through towards the hall that led to the actual music studio. as he entered the hall though there was the faint sound of music floating along, just loud enough for him to hear. from what he could hear, as he walked closer, the voice was considerably higher than his brothers voice.

as matt continued forwards, the voice grew louder and all of a sudden he could actually tell what the lyrics were. ”…. and when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall; i've found time can heal most anything; and you just might find who you're supposed to be; i didn't know who i was supposed to be at fifteen; your very first day; take a deep breath girl; take a deep breath as you walk through the doors….” the voice trailed off, the song obviously over. what else was obvious was that this was not his brother. by then he’d reached the door, and standing in the doorway, his amber eyes widened. sawyer? sawyer macdonnell? he didn’t know she could sing so well. matt studied the familiar blonde waves of hair and the pale skin. he’d met sawyer macdonnell about six months ago when his brother justin had first taken her under his wing or so to speak. from then he’d actually kind of had a crush on the shy girl. not that he’d ever say it out loud of course. and though he knew that she could sing, he didn’t know that she could so well. matt turned so that he was leaning with his shoulder against the open door with his arms crossed. ”hey there macdonnell.”

he knew that he shouldn’t tease her like he would a little sister but matt had always been awkward around his feelings and this was what happened when he actually liked a girl. ever since he’d met her he’d treated her like this, and although usually he would have made a move on her by now, but because he liked her, he knew he’d want more than he was able to give. then he’d end up hurting her and that was the last thing he wanted.[/blockquote][/justify]

status: done!
tags: sawyer macdonnell!
notes: ohmygod <333
muse: tay tay and joe joe.
outfit: burnin up!
word count: nine hundred and fifteen!

PICTURE CREDIT GOES TO ROSEY! OF CAUTION.
LYRICS CREDIT GOES TO ALISON KRAUSS. TEMPLATE
CREDIT GOES TO ME SO DON'T STEAL OR I KILL YOU!

[/size]

[sawyer anne macdonell]

people change and promises are broken
clouds can move and skies will be wide open

[/size][/center][/color][/i]

Surprises. If there was one thing that Sawyer loved and hated all in one neat package it would be surprises. Of course most people liked surprises just because it usually meant that you were cared about enough to have a surprise planned and created for you, those were the kind she liked. The unexpected yet planned, knowing that this surprise was good and only fun would come out of it. The surprises she didn’t like were the unexpected and not planned ones, those were usually the kind that consisted of somebody jumping out of something to scare her, resulting in her falling on her butt. Somebody creeping up on her from behind and once again resulting in her falling or just making a complete fool of herself, which is usually what her surpriser aka her attacker had planned; pretty much she didn’t like any surprise that played up on her clumsiness or incoordination. Which was pretty much how Matt played his cards.

Now the two hadn’t known each other long, pretty much as long as she’d been in Miami and it was only because of Justin, Matts younger brother. He was the singer along with their older brother and being a singer but Matt wasn’t his passion was linked with music but it lay in dance. Which was awesome if you could actually dance but that sadly was once again something you needed coordination and skill for which she sorely lacked and she’d vowed never to let anyone see her dance especially Matt. Not that he wasn’t a nice guy…sort of, the two got along for the most part except for that fact that it seemed that he liked to pick on her at every opportune moment. Fluffing up her already fluffy enough hair, tapping her on the shoulder then pretending it wasn’t him, poking and prodding her it was actually sort of juvenile. But then again who was she to judge? She liked comic books for crying out loud!

However there had always been some random thing between the two, a spark that seemed to fill the air whenever they were in the same area together. It was kept quiet of course as the she was to shy to even consider saying something about it and he was well, he was Matt. She thought he was good looking, of course she did every girl who laid eyes upon him couldn’t help but melt a little at his soft brown eyes that just made you want to spill all your thoughts and secrets and he just made everything seem…better. That was of course just his presence; Matt when he actually opened his mouth was completely different. Sure there was the odd time when he’d actually say something nice and be a human being but most of the time he was just a cocky, arrogant brother of a star who thought he was all that and a bag of cookies. It didn’t help that every girl that met him wanted to get with him, feeding his ego was not something that he was in desperate need of. Despite all of this however Sawyer still always had a soft spot for him and sometimes even thought of possibility of them maybe going out. But that was never going to happen, he thought of her as just one of his little brothers singing buddies that was it and since she had next to no experience in the dating field anyways it was probably for the better.

Still it was a surprise for her to hear his voice just mere moments after she’d finished her song. Her eyes still closed in feeling the song, her body leaning closer to the mike her back curved forward, her long legs resting on the ground and one of the bars of the stool and her hands still on the headphones. However at his voice her eyes immediately flashed open in shock and surprise for the fact that somebody had actually heard her song and because it was well, Matt. If there was anyone who she wanted critique from on her music, he would probably be one of the last people on the list. That still didn’t stop her from trying to pull herself together quickly, her eyes left his form and immediately went to the papers on the stand in front of her while the other hastened to get the headphones off and in her anticipation to leave she began standing and moving away from the mike at the same time. However since multitasking was never her forte she just ended up falling, the headphone cord got trapped in her hair and as she was still moving away from the mike her feet tripped over themselves and then the stool. So in the end she was on her butt, the stool tipped over, the headphone dangling by the cord close to the ground and her papers had flown everywhere.

So there she sat on the ground a big mess in front of the one person she knew who would laugh and bug her about it forever, and she had been having such a good day up until now. With a shake of her head she moved hair out of her face and she could feel her porcelain skin had turned a shade of red in embarrassment and not looking at him muttered “hey Matt…” before with a sigh she crawled to her knees and began gathering her papers still refusing to look at him.

TAGGED ! [/color]matt!!.
LYRICS ! fifteen - taylor swift
WORDS ! 917
OUTFIT ! Click!
CREDIT ! MEELA! on CAUTION 2.0![/font][/size]

[matthew jackson parker]

matt watched from his position by the door, his infamous lazy smile in place. he eyed the blonde with a look of amusement, one hand in his jean pocket as he watched her react to his presence. he didn’t know why but his heart always seemed to speed up a little when he was around sawyer. this was what urged him to tease her so much though he meant it in a good natured way of course. matt was into bullying people, besides, the stuff he did was only so he could get closer to her. so he could tousle her hair or poke her in the arm. it didn’t seem that it was the same way for her though, ever since he’d met her she’d shown only sisterly feelings towards him and for someone who was usually smooth with the ladies, it was a bit of a shock when he ended up messing up every opportunity he got with her. matt almost sighed out loud, just his luck to find a girl who had absolutely no feelings for him other than the neutral feelings of maybe a sister. god, what a mess he thought to himself.

mentally he shook his head and focused back on sawyer who had finally registered that he was standing there in the doorway. he watched with a touch of amusement as she jumped up from her place on the stool, the head phones coming off her head as fast as she could make them and her blonde hair spinning out behind her. over the past few months, matt had learned that sawyer disliked people surprising her from behind or scaring her in general, so instead of being gentlemanly, he had chosen to act on this a lot of the time just to annoy her. if only his mother could see him right now he thought with a wry smile, she’d get onto him about how she raised him etc etc. it was a tiresome speech that she had worn into the ground with her three boys, but what the hell, matt loved his mum whatever she said to him. matt stepped into the room, his arms now staying lazily by his side. as he did so though, he saw that sawyer had caught herself up in the wires that criss crossed the room. he was about to shout out a warning too but he was too late and she was already falling over onto her butt.

he’d never met a girl like sawyer before. in fact, it was unusual for him to have any feelings like he did for her. she definitely wasn’t his type, and neither was he, hers it seemed. but really, matt knew that sawyer wasn’t the kind of girl who went in for the whole one night stand thing like he did. she was the sort of girl who settled down with a guy and only when she really liked him. mentally he shook his head again, he’d known all this as soon as he’d met the blonde. still, he’d always had feelings for her too. he just knew that he couldn’t act on any of them without him eventually hurting her. unlike his brothers, matt was a serious playboy as his friends liked to put it. it wasn’t his fault of course, he just couldn’t settle down. it had been a problem all his life, even as a kid he had been unable to ever just stand still for a couple of minutes. it was the same with girls, once he had one, he usually got restless and wanted to move on. this was why he’d never acted on the feelings he felt for sawyer.

watching her on the ground, matt shielded all his thoughts behind a smirk as he saw her shift her wavy blonde hair back from her face. he had to admit, sawyer was probably the clumsiest person he knew, not only had he seen her fall over more times than was normal, he’d also seen her trip, walk into things and generally just be clumsy. he found it kind of cute, even if he did hide this again behind the teasing he dealt out to her. as he walked over, he watched her sigh and finally speak, ”hey matt…” it was then that she sat up and started gathering the papers she’d dropped in her mad dash to get away from the microphone. matt was actually surprised to see how many papers she’d dropped, no way did it seem that there had been that much when he had first walked in. or maybe there had, he just hadn’t really taken it in when he’d seen that it was sawyer who was actually singing the song. it was too bad she had stopped, though he supposed if it had gone on any longer he would have backed slowly out. his brothers had a tendency to yell at him when he messed with one of their singing friends so usually matt just left them to it. ”i see your learning a new dance, what do you call this one?”

[/color]

matt walked over now, and squatted so he could help sawyer pick up the papers she had dropped. as he picked up the first one though, he saw the writing and was instantly reading it. it was song lyrics, obviously for another song that was in progress at the moment. he smiled at the lyrics and then looked over towards sawyer. ”hey macdonnell these are pretty good. i’m surprised you haven’t been signed on.”[/color] matt mentally ridiculed himself. this was the girl he had feelings for, albeit unknown feelings, but feelings all the same, and this was was how he was talking to her. no wonder she never thought of him as anything more than a rather annoying brother. matt mentally sighed. he’d had a weird day, a long, very weird day, and if things couldn’t get any weirder, he was actually thinking of his feelings. who am i? he thought with a small grin, and have i done with myself? [/blockquote][/justify]

status: done!
tags: sawyer macdonnell!
notes: sorry for taking so long!
muse: love bug - jonas brothers.
outfit: burnin up!
word count: one thousand and thirteen!

PICTURE CREDIT GOES TO ROSEY! OF CAUTION.
LYRICS CREDIT GOES TO ALISON KRAUSS. TEMPLATE
CREDIT GOES TO ME SO DON'T STEAL OR I KILL YOU!

[/size]

[sawyer anne macdonell]

people change and promises are broken
clouds can move and skies will be wide open

[/size][/center][/color][/i]

Embarrassment was a daily occurrence for Sawyer, it didn’t matter where she was or what she doing there was at least once a day that she would do something that would cause her cheeks to flush rapidly a rosy shade of scarlet that’s more or less what annoyed her. The clumsiness she could handle, she’d been handling that since she could walk (more like crash into things) but the fact that she blushed so easily was quite annoying betraying her already frazzled emotions. It wasn’t fair because she already stuttered and was clumsy why did her face have to betray her along with her body and mouth? Most of the time it was as if she had some sort of disorder where her brain and her body just didn’t connect and her body did what it wanted when it wanted, which made trying to act cool in front of guys that much harder. It was difficult enough having to open her mouth but if only she could do the graceful yet confident walk that just caught everyone’s attention like Abi.

Well ok she lied she didn’t actually want everyone’s attention on her as she walked that would be awful! However maybe you know the odd glance here and there as she walked by would be nice, instead of just being ignored but she had yet to master that walk. In fact Sawyer thought she was probably one of the unsexiest people ever, she didn’t know how to do the ‘come hither’ look with her eyes or her dress and as for her walk she lacked to sexy hip sway that so many girls had. Yes it was sad but true but even though she’d been in this body for twenty one years she still wasn’t completely comfortable in it. Although yes her family had told her she was pretty and Abi did all the time but that was different, they loved her unconditionally but just once she secretly craved that she’d walk by a guy and hear him whisper to his friend ‘that girl was hot’. It had happened before but once again it was with Abi, nope she was simply the wallflower always looked over and forgotten.

Which was what puzzled her about Matt, here was this drool worthy pretty good looking guy who had girls throwing themselves at him left, right and center plus he got to go to all the hot industry parties with his brother and meet even more girls and yet he spent time bugging her. Now she knew that it was only because when they were together there was always a lack of estrogen in the room so really he had no other options and the fact that he never showed any interest in her at all. But it still gave her little butterflies whenever he paid attention to her, she didn’t know why after all she didn’t get that way when Justin or any of the other members of their family talked to her. Only Matt…now of course she had a slight crush on him, always had but she was stuck in this odd phase of denial, disbelief and of course that slight smidge of hope. However despite all of this she knew that she was as far from his type as it could get which was why her crush would always be a dream.

Of course if she truly wanted something to happen between them she could always just go out to a club with him one night and throw herself at him. But then she’d be just one of the many and that was of course something she absolutely didn’t want to be. Plus she’d be mortified every time she’d think that she’d lost her virginity on a one night stand. No she was saving herself for someone who actually cared about her, not some hot shot playboy who went after anything with hips and lips. It was with these thoughts rolling through her head while she was on her hands and knees gathering up the stack of papers that she’d sent flying in one of her spazz of the year potential entries. Her face was permanently facing the floor with her eyes glued to the papers strewn about and she was silently praying that maybe Matt had left her hear to wallow in her embarrassment. Which was probably why she hadn’t noticed or heard him move towards her until he was crouched down right in front of her face; it was a good thing she was kneeling because if she’d been crouching she’d have fell flat on her butt. Which would’ve been yet another oh so wonderful moment her and Matt would’ve shared today.

His snide comment about her a dance move only made her face go redder than it already was and she resisted to urge to simply get up and walk away. Why did he have to be like this? Most of the time she could handle his little remarks but sometimes they were just mean, now not that this one was particularly mean it was just the fact that he’d caught her singing. Sawyer was extremely sensitive when it came to her music and with her self esteem already lower than normal she would take everything to heart. Although the fact that she was kneeling saved her from embarrassment still didn’t change that fact that he’d surprised her. The moment that his form entered her vision she froze, her hand on top of some papers on the floor just about to pick them up, her other clutching the rest of the papers in a stack to her chest gripped them a little tighter. She stayed frozen like that as she watched his arm reach out and grab one of the sheets her heart pounding so hard and loud in her ears she was sure he could hear it. As his arm drew back out of her vision with the sheet in hand she sat and waited for his crude remarks and then she would head off in tears and be even more embarrassed.

It was torture sitting there in the silence between them growing; she knew he was simply picking his best insult out of the most likely many in his head. However after a few more moments of silence she now slowly brought her head up from looking at the floor to look at him. She watched as his eyes went back and forth across the page obviously reading the words, as he read them she watched his eyes go back and forth becoming entranced by the rhythm they had. She became so lulled by the constant pattern of his eyes that when he finally looked up at her with an actual smile on his face that she didn’t automatically look away for being so caught off guard. It was then another few moments before the compliment he just paid her actually clicked in her head, shaking her head slightly to clear it she now broke their eye contact and looked back down at the remaining papers on the floor and lightly fingered the edge of one as she said “oh um, t-thanks. I-i-it’s hard t-t-to get signed as a-a-a c-c-country singer when y-y-you’re not in someplace l-like N-n-n-nashville” she finally stuttered out along with a great sigh before now looking back up at him. It was odd that she stuttered in front of Matt, of course when they’d first met she did really bad like she always did around the opposite sex, but they’d seen each other so often that she was now somewhat comfortable around him. At least comfortable enough to stop stuttering, however it was his compliment that caused the sudden stutter. It was rare that she received them from him.

TAGGED ! [/color]matt!!.
LYRICS ! fifteen - taylor swift
WORDS ! 1,298 without lyrics
OUTFIT ! Click!
CREDIT ! MEELA! on CAUTION 2.0![/font][/size]