BEEN TOO LONG ON MY OWN ,,

[larissa dawn harrison]

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Larissa was supposed to be a good role model for younger girls. Not in a sense that they had to be ultra skinny and beautiful in order to succeed in what they do, but instead that they could do whatever they wanted and dreamed of doing. That if they tried hard enough they could succeed in anything they ever dreamed of doing. And most of all – that not all celebrities or models were street trash, whores or sluts that flashed their bodies to the world. Sure, maybe Larissa was a lingerie model. But that did not mean she was a whore. She just loved the skin she was in, and tried her to best to get other girls to feel the exact same way. Girls were the worlds worst when it came to feeling “ugly”, “not beautiful” and being uncomfortable with the way they looked and their own skin. But now? Oh, now Larissa could not be the role model she wanted so desperately to be. She just could not do that now. When you are twenty years old and famous, but also eight months pregnant, it gives you a bad image. Especially when the “baby daddy” was no where to be found. The press, for at least two months, were like kids in a candy store or athletes playing their championship game. Picture after picture was taken of the growing baby bump and the beautiful model, all head lines saying “Baby, mother, but no father!”, “Larissa Harrison is pregnant! But where is the baby daddy?” and she had even seen once “Larissa Harrison; pregnant. Where’s the father?” with large articles underneath the pictures, speaking all about how Larissa would be a single mother and there was no baby daddy for the upcoming child. Now talk about pressure being put on you. She tried her hardest to be all smiles for the cameras, but at night she would just break down. People always thought celebrities had this wonderful life. Pictures of them were taken, and even though they were trashed they still got to work and do their jobs. But the reality of the thing was – a lot of celebrities broke down. Larissa happened to be one of them.

She groaned as she laid on her bed, just staring up at the ceiling. She could not believe that Kane was in Miami. Sure, she had only been away from him for eight months and sure, they had only been a one night stand. Larissa could remember clearly how the night had went down. She had been hosting a huge party at this club for her twentieth birthday party. All her friends and her decided that your twentieth birthday, other then your eighteenth and twenty-first, was the most special. Why is it special you ask? Well, when you are twenty, you have been an adult for two years and you only have one more year to illegally drink. Illegally drinking was always more fun then legal drinking in their opinion, so it was a big party. She had invited everyone from around town to come to the party, and of course with Larissa being the hostess the body guards let anyone that was on the list in. Yeah, a list. There was a list they had to have, and your name had to be on there in order to get in. And you didn’t even have to know her to get in. Larissa knew pretty much anyone, so whoever she thought of you were in.

Kane had shown up at the party, and after one drinks too many for the both of them, Larissa wanted some fun. And he seemed just the perfect guy to give it to her. Now, keep in mind that Larissa, as of right now, is still a virgin when it comes to sex and is totally hammered, or wasted, whichever you choose to put it. She had beds set up on the third floor of the club, since she knew how people around her home town worked and that sex would be most definite for almost every boy and girl there on that night. She took him in the elevator, and up to a room. Pulling him in and locking the door, you know what happens next. That was how the night went down. And Larissa woke, finding herself curled up against Kane with her head on his chest. They hadn’t seen each other since that night until Larissa had spoke to him in person, announcing the news of her pregnancy in private to him. He left, in fear obviously, and that was the last Larissa had seen of him. And after eight months of tears, pain, back aches, vomiting, nausea, and swollen ankles he was back to “make everything okay”. This was really eating Rissa’s nerves up. She could not even tell you how tore up she was about the entire thing.

She didn’t know what to do, and if she should even be considering taking him back. He had left her, heart broken and pregnant, only to return a month later before the baby’s birth to be in their lives. Now, any one in their right mind would immediately turn the man down and walk away. She and he had spoken last night over the internet. He had told her he would do anything to have her back, and that was what was killing poor Larissa the most. She wanted to take him back so badly, but something inside of her was screaming to her, telling her not to take the chance with him and to just forget about him, to move on and let him suffer the way she did. But another part of her was telling her to take him back, that everyone deserved a second chance. She wanted so badly to take him back, to just feel his touch and his lips and pretend nothing bad had ever happened between them but she couldn’t. She knew how he felt, not having parents there and your parents leaving you with your siblings. Oh believe me; she knew exactly how he felt. Her mother had been shot and killed by her father, and her father was carried away to serve a life time in jail for murder, disturbance of the peace and several other accounts that were, well, illegal. Larissa was left to be raised by her brothers.

Hell, she could remember how the oldest two, the twins Nathan and Nathaniel, reacted when she told them that she was pregnant. Their faces went blank, their complexion turned from a dark, beautiful Brazilian tan to a pale and pasty complexion. Jason, the youngest brother that was four years older then Larissa, just stood with a shocked look on his face though no dramatic physical changes took place. Nathan and Nathaniel looked as if they were going to be sick, but quickly took a sharp intake of breath and just stared at her then glanced down at her stomach. It was a rather awkward moment for all the siblings since Larissa had always been the most innocent one of the family. That was how it went, with of course the usual threats of “Ill chop his head off if I ever find him” and “Ill castrate that son of a fucking bitch” flying from Nate and Nathan’s mouth. Jason was the more sensitive one of the family, at least in the guys anyways, and so he pulled Rissa aside to wish her the best of luck. If Larissa had not already had a hard enough day as it was already that day, her brothers – okay well Nathan and Nathaniel – had made her day that day a hell of a lot worse.

She stood up off her bed, wincing and placing a hand on her stomach as the little girl in her stomach shifted roughly. She had decided to go visit Kane today. If worst came to worse when she saw him – such as breaking down and crying or getting pissed – she could always walk away. She would just walk there. It would be better if she got some exercise and fresh air anyways, since she had barely been out of the house since a couple weeks ago. She walked down the stairs, hobbling lightly because of the large balloon poking out in front of her. Or better known as the large baby bump holding the unborn baby that was to be called Megan Elizabeth Harrison. It would not take her long, since she walked rather past for a pregnant woman. After about ten or twenty minutes she finally reached where Kane worked – the car garage, or mechanics’ shop. She walked in, knowing that they really would not mind her walking in. She had been here a time or two with Abigail to visit Noah, so they already knew who the pregnant girl was. She spotted Kane instantly, but said nothing. She was going to let him come to her. Crossing her arms over her chest, they somewhat rested on her large stomach. She held back the urge to call out his name. She didn’t want to give him any ideas she had missed him, even though inside her heart was beating with joy and anxiousness. Yes, she was excited. But for more then one reason. Reasons I will explain later on. But for now… she’d let him come to her.

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POST STATUS complete. TAGGED FOR kane jared miller. <3 WORD COUNT one five six five without codes. BANNER me. TEMPLATE me. TEXT BANNER rebecca @ ACROSS THE STRIP. MUSE Beautiful by Eminem NOTES finished! i hope its okay. outfit is HERE.

[kane jared miller]

<sup>being in miami wasn't someplace he ever wanted to come back to again. he left for a reason though it was just more out of fear knowing he eventually came to his senses. he wasn't sure what exactly he was exactly from larissa knowing he couldn't blame her for just pushing him away. he knew it wasn't going to be easy to get her back which was the main reason he had been trying so hard though he knew it wouldn't be that easy at all. his brother pulled strings getting him a job in the car shop knowing he had been a mechanic by heart though if he had a choice he would be street racing. he loved the rush, and though he knew it was something had down in the past he couldn't be caught again knowing he had to eventually settle down. though eventually he would have to show larissa at least once race at least just driving knowing most cars were just having a single seat, though he'd eventually have to get a new car.

having a kid at his age wasn't something he wanted to do, though he wasn't going to be like his parents have children then drop them in a foster home. kane couldn't put anyone through the things him and his siblings went through knowing him and julian were the stronger of the three but his sister was the baby. though it appeared she had the hardest time out of three of them being molested by their first foster family. kane remembered hearing her cry for him and julian but couldn't move from his bed knowing she was in trouble though it was a different kind of trouble. he mainly blames himself knowing nia was so young when it happened, and now they were better off without him. though there new parents praised for kane for taking care of them but he couldn't help but blame himself know that he left it happen. he didn't want to put his daughter in that position knowing it was still hard for him to wrap his mind around having a daughter period. though larissa was hot, but them meeting was something that was like high school.

kane's friend was invited to her birthday party, because for some reason it appeared every birthday needed to be celebrated with some blow out party. kane on the other hand was raised with a small cupcake birthday and maybe a dollar or two growing up. his siblings threw him a birthday eventually thanks to their parents but he didn't want it because he felt like they were just wasting their money. he wasn't dressed like the rest knowing he wore something he had but it was his best though at the time money was still something he was trying to over come knowing he had just recently came from jail. though he failed to mention that to larissa knowing he was just caught up with something really bad, plus he didn't want that to let her be not attracted to him right. well he eventually found the host, and simply had a few to many drinks though he at the time knew she was host and just wanted a dance. but their bodies just went so well together, and kane wasn't going to lie he basically fell in love with her body knowing she was some type of an angel. he wasn't completely drunk as he claimed he was at times though he was tipsy enough to blank out for sometimes though it would go in and out it seemed. though from what he can remember is that he enjoyed it knowing in the morning he woke up with a beautiful girl on his chest, and well he wasn't complaining.

when she told him about it he just left knowing he wasn't ever planning on staying permanently in miami, and well he was scared. he wasn't ready, and hell he still wasn't ready but he knew he had to man up which was something he was going to do for the sake of the woman carrying his baby, and his baby girl. though he didn't care much for the name but figured he'd let her name it knowing she might try to do something to him because of hormones. he had worked on a few cars were the woman was pregnant, and well he didn't say much knowing some tried to talk to him and he learned from his mistake. one of his clients that was pregnant got into an argument with him because of hormones though he knew it wasn't her fault. it wasn't easy for women or at least that's what he came to think after hearing them complain for so long of carrying the extra weight.

working was something apart of life, but he didn't go to high school, and well. for kane he didn't need to knowing he only had to sign a few things though his siblings did. he didn't mind because he technically wasn't related to them knowing he didn't want his name to be plastered in the magazines. though he knew it was far to late because of who the mother of his child was. she wasn't just an model, she was one of like twelve victoria secret models it seemed. they were hand selected women that were picked because of their beauty, and given money to show their body off. kane knew his baby momma had a nice money, at least before his daughter began to take form though he wasn't sure what would happened after she was born. he knew he didn't want to fight for custody, but wanted to be apart of his daughters life. though from an internet conversation he got the senses that moving in with her even as a friend wasn't that bad of an idea. though he knew it would mean his name would be plastered across the magazines and his life story would be changed. it was just something about being well known it seemed.

rolling out of his bed he was going to just have a regular day knowing larissa said she would come in. he hoped she did, but half of him hoped she was bluffing knowing she wasn't a stranger from what he heard from some of the guys. he was the new guy but that didn't stop him from working on cars, and with clients and today was going to be no different. he was on break and in a group of guys talking about of course girls like normal. though he told them about him maybe moving in with larissa as friends, and just wanted to see their reaction. though the youngest of the group, jason looked like he had seen a ghost before pointing to something behind kane. playing with the blue piece of rag in his hands he turned his waist to see what was behind him, and there stood larissa. throwing the rag towards the laughing guy he ran his hand through his hair before standing in front of her somewhat nervous as to what to say. "umm... hi." he didn't know what else to say because what could he have really said? "so, about last night. i want to take you're offer up...but i think i'd be awkward." he knew that he really missed her fingers on chest, and waking up next to her even if it was only for a night. it was just a night he'd remember.</sup>

[/color][/size][/font][/i] , _{saz aka rissa bby <3}
status[/size][/font][/i] , _finished
music[/size][/font][/i] , _{iris by goo goo dolls..}
outfit[/size][/font][/i] , _{look at the banner mofo.}
notes[/size][/font][/i] , _{nom nom love}[/ul]
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[larissa dawn harrison]

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For the longest time Larissa had wanted a child. Wanted a little baby boy or girl to call her own, to take to school and promise that everything would be okay when they woke up crying at night, screaming that there were monsters in the closet. She wanted to be a mother, but the last way she ever wanted to have a baby was because of a one night stand. Larissa was raised old school. To respect your elders, watch your language, wait until the legal age to drink, wait until your parents approve to smoke, for the gentlemen to hold the doors open and let the ladies go first. That was how Larissa was raised, and how her small town life always had been. Of course, after her mother died when Larissa was twelve her brothers raised her. They had a different view then Larissa’s mother did. Their mother refused to let them drink, smoke, party, stay out past midnight, have sex, drive crazy, things along that line. But her brothers; they let the younger ones do whatever, and it ended in a problem. See, after that Larissa was raised being allowed to do what ever the hell the young girl wanted and now that she had followed those ways, well – she was pregnant. She wanted to do everything the old way. Too work hard for her dreams, get married, have sex after marriage and try for children if both of them had wanted but now; oh now she could do no such thing. She was forced to have the baby, to give birth to a little girl whose father had just now decided to want to be a part of their lives. It was hard to wrap her head around the entire idea.

Larissa really could not believe she was even considering going back with Kane. He had ditched her, ditched Miami; leaving her and making her go through nothing but pure pain and tears. Megan was beginning to become restless and extremely active in her mother’s womb, and that meant that her water was on the edge of breaking and that the baby would be coming any time soon. She already had a room prepared for the little girl that was due soon with “Megan Elizabeth” painted across the wall above the crib she had set out for her. Of course, until Megan could get her days and nights figured out she would have to sleep in the same room as Larissa. See, it is not the baby’s fault that they did not know the difference but instead ours. During the day while we were active, they thought that it was night. And during the night when we were asleep, they thought it was day. So naturally they are going to come in to this world screaming and crying with their days and nights mixed up. So, let’s go back to the subject of the birth of Megan Elizabeth for a second. Well, Larissa already knew Kane was going to be there. He had to. He had done this to her – and as a result, he had to be in the delivery room when she had the baby. He did this to her, so he had to be there.

And of course, Larissa’s past life was not roses and daisies during a beautiful walk in the park. It was full of blood, sweat, fear and tears. Heart ache and heart break, nightmares and moving from place to place, though every now and then a smile would come up out of nowhere and they would have a happy time. Rissa had been born to Annabelle and Justin Harrison. She had three older brothers, the oldest two were twins and the third boy was Jason, who still topped Rissa at four years older than her. Her parents got along for the most part, until Annabelle and Justin started arguing. It took almost three hours for the children to get sleep, a lot of the time also because Larissa would be crying from the loud noise and lack of sleep, plus the constant arguing as well. Nathan was always the one to quiet the young girl down, since him and Larissa were the closest of all the siblings. Even closer then Larissa and Jason were, or even closer then Nate and his twin Nathan was. It was weird how close they were. At age twelve, her mother was shit in the head by a completely sober father. Nathan and Nathaniel, or Nate and Nathan, took custody of Rissa and Jason. And they all pretty much lived without their father after that since he was arrested.

When you were pregnant, your hormones raged out of control. One minute you were sweet, next you were depressed, and if someone said the wrong thing then, well – you were extremely pissed and it would take you forever to get you out of that state of mood. Rissa had talked to many counselors, though none could really help Larissa. She was not exactly clinically depressed, though she was not exactly happy either. She was somewhere in between depression and happiness. She was happy at times, though the moment Kane was brought in to the conversation she would either be extremely depressed or extremely pissed. It was hard to tell what her mood would be. She had feeling better lately then she had in a long time, actually she had felt extremely joyful for the past month. That was until Kane came back in to the picture. Then her hormones raged again, switching from joyful to angered to depressed. She had recently become more stressed as well. She had offered Kane a chance to come live with her, though she was not sure why he did not accept right away. He had said he wanted to be in her life and have her back, right? That was a step. A big step actually. The baby was coming soon – sooner then wanted – and Larissa was scared; scared for herself and for Megan both. What if Megan did not make it through the birth? What if Larissa herself did not make it? What if she had to have an emergency c-section and Megan did not make it? So many thoughts and questions swirled in her mind it was crazy.

As she neared Kane’s work, her heart pounded in her chest. Yes, she was incredibly nervous about seeing him for the first time in eight months – and it was no help she was carrying his baby and her water could drop at any time. Her chest revealed her chest quite a bit, since it had gotten bigger then expected since the last time they had seen each other and because of the pregnancy itself. Her hands just rested on her stomach until the stood several feet from the group of men, and then she crossed her arms. She watched as one of his coworkers – Jason in particular – turned pale white and pointed toward her. As Kane walked over, she leaned and smiled at Jason gently, her sweet little smile having a hint of flirting behind it. She did it on purpose – she knew very well that all the guys down here swooned over her. It was fun to watch their reactions. She watched as Kane nervously approached her. Her expression straightened out and showed no emotion, though deep down she watched to throw her arms around him and just hug him tightly. She could not do that here – it would totally ruin the whole image of them being friends. Not that Larissa did not want to be friends; she just didn’t want to show that she wanted him back too. Kane… she started, but let him say what he wanted to say. And what did he bring up? Rather then apologizing for knocking her up, he brought up moving in with her.

She sighed, keeping her arms crossed over her chest and letting her eyes roll slightly as she shook her head. Drop the moving in with me part for right now. I am not here to offer it again – since you thoroughly refused to do such a thing – so don’t even worry about that. You can live in your apartment. I was trying to be nice by letting you move in with me so you wouldn’t have to clean up after yourself, so that you could see Megan any time you wanted after she was born without driving all the way to my beach front house and walking up three flights of stairs. But forget it for right now – I am here to talk about you and me. she said, her sadness showing through in the tone of her voice. She watched as the other guys tried to listen in, and she let out a groan and pulled him toward the back of the shop, out of hearing range unless she was screaming and yelling. Releasing his hand, a side of her told her to hold his hand again but instead just put her hands on her stomach, resting them on the – what she called – “balloon belly that held the baby”. She looked at him for a minute, taking note on how nervous and uneasy he seemed to be.

Just relax, okay? I’m not here to put a restraining order out against you or anything. I just… ugh! You want me to take you back and you want me to accept you back in to my life and to let you be the father of Megan. You want me to welcome you back with open arms and it is not that easy Kane. she said to him, keeping her tone at a low and moderate level. She could feel her heart beat accelerating and she became uneasy as well, and tears began to build up in her eyes. You don’t really understand. I want to take you back – I really do. I just… I am scared you’ll leave me like you did before. Kane you really hurt me when you left. Even though we had only slept together once I had feelings for you, but you just up and ditched me when responsibility was needed; to act like an adult about the situation. Yes, I do want you to live with me and yes, I do want to be friends. I want a father for our daughter, and you are the biological father of her so I want you here. I want to there for the birth of here too. I want you to – ugh. I want so many things Kane. I want so many things that involve you, but you just down right refuse them. I just don’t get it. What did I do to make you hate me so much? You said you would do anything to have me back. And when I try to offer things up, you refuse. What do you want me to do? she said.

Her voice cracked in the last sentence, and tears of pain and heart ache rolled down her delicate face. It was obvious she was upset about the situation. She did want him in her life; she wanted him for the birth, to move in with her, to be the father of their baby that she prayed would come along. But everything she offered up he refused, and Larissa was becoming, without a doubt, frustrated with him. She just did not know what to do anymore. He seemed to want her when she was pissed and was hard to get, but now that she was becoming more open about herself – more accepting – and letting him in little by little he seemed to want nothing to do with her anymore. She was beginning to become hopeless about the situation, and figured she might as well call herself stupid for thinking that for one minute he had changed and wanted to be a part of their life. She was on the edge of a break down, and if she hit rock bottom there was no climbing out. It would end with suicide, simple as that. She was beginning to lose hope in both herself and him, and that surely was not a good thing. No, not at all.

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POST STATUS complete. WOAHH. TAGGED FOR kane jared miller. <3 WORD COUNT two zero three eight without codes. BANNER me. TEMPLATE me. TEXT BANNER rebecca @ ACROSS THE STRIP. MUSE Beautiful by Eminem NOTES DAYUMM! i had muse, and rissa had a break down. D: outfit is HERE.

[kane jared miller]

^{coming soon.}

[/color][/size][/font][/i] , _{saz aka rissa bby <3}
status[/size][/font][/i] , _unfinished
music[/size][/font][/i] , _{iris by goo goo dolls..}
outfit[/size][/font][/i] , _{look at the banner mofo.}
notes[/size][/font][/i] , _{nom nom love}[/ul]
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